Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
