This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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