People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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