four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
