is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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