I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
