i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize