Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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