Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
