im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
