Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can I color on your dick again?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize