Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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