Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
