Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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