we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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