When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
