Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
