he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
