So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
