the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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