What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
