i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Watching her eat just hurts me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
