If i come over, it means nothing
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
