i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
