sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have fence marks all over my body
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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