the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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