You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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