I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
