Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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