The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
