why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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