We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
