3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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