I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I bet he comes in French.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
