just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
