I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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