And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
