ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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