Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
