saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
