I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The Olympian is in my bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
