I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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