i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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