why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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