Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
