Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
