Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
