I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
