a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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