I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
