I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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