I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
