he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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