Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!

(253): View more from Washington

Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.

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(850): View more from Florida

lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.

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(716): View more from New York

Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile

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(302): View more from Delaware

I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

(614): View more from Ohio

We've got ourselves a situation

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(713): View more from Texas

when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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(720): View more from Colorado

New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.

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(646): View more from New York

My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?

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