idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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